lol we still get SKippy the bush kangaroo! lol

NO - - REALLY

if u like peter kay (phoenix nights) then have a look at this lot..............

some of peter kay classic quotes..

1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, Thyroid problem?

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized, God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

3) My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

4) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

5) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

6) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

9) S*x is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'

11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? Me neither.

Peter Kay's questions...
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down
to the core of the earth?

3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your a*se?

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

12. What do people in China call their good plates?

13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, they don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

New tv prog to hit our screens soon..................

HAVE WE GOT NUDES FOR YOU

A new programme with a difference is promising to reveal all.

As well as reeling off the latest news, sport and entertainment, the female newsreaders will be peeling off.


Naked News launches in Britain next Monday after a runaway success in the United States, Canada and Australia.

It will be screened live every night on Get Lucky TV, Sky Channel 235.

The news and infotainment segment includes News At The Top, Sports Buff, On The Web, Naked At The Movies and Talk Is Cheap.

Pat Bird, of Get Lucky TV, said: "It's high time British viewers were treated to a taste of Naked News which has satisfied Americans and Canadians for five years."

Naked News broadcasts to more than 172 nations daily and reaches a potential weekly audience of 34 million in the United States and many more in several countries around the world.

Samantha Page will front the programme along with a team of other girl presenters, while glamour model Samantha James has signed up as the Naked News weather girl.


wot ever next -

sounds like fun...i didnt see any telly last nite cos i was workin..The Bill is on 2nite tho so i'll be watchin it

LMAO.

Anyone watch "Average Joe" on Channel 4/ E4 ? Lovin' it.

umm i only watched it the once and i found it dead boring so i havent set eyes on it since. but Cameron watches it.

my fave one right now is "Wonderfalls" but I knew it was cancelled

hey smithy now this is my kinda thread! now where do i start i love em all! except bad girls! i havent got into that!

omg is any1 watching neighbours its awsome at the mo! i know i know i rant on about neighbours a lot but i looooooovvve it! I really feel for Susan at the mo & Lynne is turning into a mad woman consummed by jelousy or what?!

anyway i think dev is a muppet & that myaa she totally trashed his place last nite did you see whats she on? man i bet that dev ewill jst pluck a handfull of cash & have back to new man i always wondered how he got so much money when he has only like 5 cutomers a day in that shop!

in eastenders i think dennis is jst soooooo the best bless him! & Den he jst got what he deserves the dirty old man!

what did i watch last night? hmm
casualty!
ooh i love it!
silly old simon, and poor lara!

I would like to pay tribute to one of my all time fave soap characters-

Sarah loise platt from coronation street - wot a girl :

pregnant at 13,
gave birth to bethany,
held hostage by some bloke she met on the internet,
nearly died in a car crash,
left school at 16,
bethany's father died in car crash,
father in law is a mass murderer
bethany kidnapped ny grandmother,
became pregnant again,
todd tells her he fancies men,
lost second baby,


I'm just glad i live a boring life - wot a woman though .- still only 17 ish.

yeh im with you on that one smithy! shes turning into a rte brat tho if she has another go at martin i think im gana end up breaking the tv! man she knows how to winge but because of the amount of crap shes been through il let her off!

and now audrey has sacked her -

I read in the papers this weekend that Mya sets fire to Dev's shops and ties Sunita up and douses her in petrol

Yesterday I watched (almost all day) the Olympics

blimey - poor old sunitta - that mya - i always knew she was a raving looney.